On pain and other things

I had a thought a couple of weeks ago while taking Boo for his daily walk. I thought about our human tendency to avoid pain. The strange thing is, as we allow ourselves to feel and experience our own pain,a miracle occurs. Our pain softens us. It opens our hearts. Where we were once closed, we can feel empathy and connection with the suffering others are experiencing. We begin to see the interconnectedness of all things. As Jack Kornfield says, "as we allow the world to touch us deeply, we recognize that just as there is pain in our own lives, so there is pain in everyone else's life. This is the birth of wise understanding. Wise understanding sees that suffering is inevitable, that all things that are born die. Wise understanding sees and accepts life as a whole. With wise understanding we allow ourselves to contain all things, both dark and light, and we come to a sense of peace. This is not the peace of denial or running away, but the peace we find in the heart that has rejected nothing, that touches all things with compassion."
Certainly I have felt pain. Things have not always gone as I've wanted them to. I have lost loved ones. I have been sick and tired. But once I stopped fighting against the "is"ness of my life, I opened to the pain. And out of that opening came peace and wisdom. Now I consider suffering my greatest teacher. I am sure I will run away from pain again, but I am also sure it will find me and present the opportunity to soften a little more and open my heart a little wider. This is simply part of the purpose of life- to bring us to a realization of our interconnectedness. When we allow ourselves to open and feel we are suddenly connected to everyone else who has felt what we are feeling. Certainly we are not the first ones to experience pain... or anything really. This realization enhances our ability to love and appreciate not only others, but ourselves. This, in part, is why it is important to allow ourselves to feel fully and to treat ourselves with gentleness and loving kindness- for what you do unto yourself, you do unto others.

Verse 29

Do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.
The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.

There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion;
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous;
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle.

Love and Blessings

I have a new favorite song. For 10 years my favorite song has been "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye. Paul Simon's new album has a song that has given that one fierce competition. It haunts me in my sleep.

The Art of Doing Nothing

Do you know what I like to do more than anything in the world? Nothing. That's right. I really, thoroughly enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I only recently realized this because my entire life I was taught that doing something was a virtue and doing nothing was for lazy people. I am not lazy. I've never been lazy. I understand the value of work. Work is a part of life. Man was born to work. And, unless you have a trust fund or are a trophy wife (which is a job in itself) then you will work everyday of your entire life. We don't need to go looking for work. We don't need more to do. So I've been practicing the art of doing nothing and I intend to keep practicing it (sh... don't tell my boss). I'm not great at it yet. Doing nothing means that you sit still. You hardly even think. You can do it outside. You can do it with a friend. You can do it all alone. You can do it for 5 minutes or 5 hours. Why don't you give it a try?

5 Element Fitness

As you might know, I love physical fitness. I enjoy strengthening my muscles. I enjoy moving out of my mind and into my body. I like a good sweat. However, I am often disappointed in fitness "gurus", exercise magazines, and modern wisdom on the subject. I hate boot-camp style trainers who shout at their clients to "push harder". I don't like the idea that we need to spend hours in the gym to achieve our goals. I don't want to work out until I puke. I don't want to kill myself. If I go to the gym or exercise elsewhere I do it because I love myself and I want to feel good. I am developing my own fitness philosophy based on the 5 components of physical fitness: balance, strength, speed, endurance, and flexibility.
The profound thing is each of these components are not limited to the physical realm. Characteristics such as balance and endurance are essential to the survival and enjoyment of life.
According to Alan Watts, "we have been taught to neglect, despire, and violate our bodies, and to put all faith in our brains. Indeed, the special disease of civilized man mmight be described as a schism between his brain and the rest of his body." So if our body and our brain are interconnected, it would make sense that we would want to strengthen both in all facets. Here are some preliminary thoughts:
1. It is easy to fall out of balance. The good news, is you can always come back into balance. Balance in the physical realm requires core strength. Balance as a characteristic also requires that we draw on our core integrity. The principles of balance are kindness, patience, and consistency. This means it is better to small amounts of exercise consistently than to do large amounts of exercise sporadically.
2. In our modern, fast-paced world everything is high speed. In fact, the word speed connotes quickness. However, speed actually refers to how fast OR SLOW something is moving. It is much more difficult to move slowly than it is to move fast. This is due to momentum. During your next workout, ask youself "how can I do this slower?"
3. Endurance has a lot to do with persisting. It also relates to intensity. We can do intense exercise (and similarly handle intense life situations) for brief periods. Endurance has a lot to do with choosing a load that is neither too light nor too heavy.
4. Flexibility requires that we regularly stretch ourselves (physically and metaphorically) to avoid injury. Above all, flexibility requires an open mind. As we become more physically flexible, particularly by stretching the muscles of the chest, our heart literally opens.
5. Strength comes with ease when we go with the flow. Strength is not so much about weight or momentum as it is about connecting mind to muscle and using proper form.

The principle of the interaction of these changing characteristics, as the changing seasons, and elements is the foundation of everything in creation. Pay attention. Are you nurturing each of the five elements in your fitness? Or is it always about how fast you can run?

Inner Guide

One of my all-time favorite books is Healing With Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford. It is a 600+ page book with spiritual and physical wisdom. The author draws on observation, zen training, and Oriental traditions to explain the "nature of everything." It is truly amazing. I've been revisiting it lately and will post about some of the pieces that have stood out to me the most. This morning I read that the purpose of the book is to help everyone "follow their inner guide with diet and all other aspects of life." This is excellent advice for at least two reasons. First, every BODY is different. What works for one may not work for all. Second, following your inner guide clears up a lot of confusion as we are bombarded with advice from others constantly. I think the more we allow ourselves to listen to our inner voice, the stronger that voice will become. Here are some things my inner voice says to me:
balance work with rest, feel your spirit, if you eat dairy you will catch a cold, go outside, stay at home, too much cardio exercise breaks down your body, treat others with kindness, treat yourself with kindness, indulgences (like coffee, sugar, and alcohol) are delightful when used rarely and sickening when used in excess.

This inner voice stuff isn't something crazy and mystical. A lot of it comes from our own experiences or even our own common sense. The wisdom of the heart is here, now. It has always been here and it is never too late to find. The Hindus tell a story of the god Rama. He had a gift to give to the people, but he was a little upset with them. The people who were madly running around looking for answers and perfection. He decided instead to hide the gift. Rama asked a friend where to hide the gift. "On the top of the highest mountain," his friend suggested. No, they will climb the highest mountain looking for it. "Deep under the sea," said the friend. No, humans will go to the depths of the sea to get it. "In the wind," said the friend. No, people will go chasing after the wind. Finally, Rama decided to hide the divine gift within each person because "they'll never think to look there."

Life is a Gift

• "All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be." -Pink Floyd




• A fellow teacher and a good friend passed away this week from ovarian cancer. She was true to herself and had a great love for life. She was practical and patient. She always treated me as an equal- never as though I had something to prove. She faced her cancer with bravery and even gratitude. These are her words from her funeral program:




• "Having never been a religious person, I have tried to understand my soul, and one thing really rings clear for me. Humanity is a circle that thrives on the do unto others universalist concept. Your heart and soul are your deeds and wishes upon the earth... what you sprinkle carefully around. It takes some years and wisdom to be ginger, but I hope I have mostly followed this concept. I know that life is a gift- and I give thanks. It's the simple things in life that makes life grand... notice them and your life will be greatly enriched." -Nan Bigler